Christy Hamlin

It would be interesting to know how many ideas that have shaped culture or altered history were not “Plan A”. We all have thoughts on how we would like things to go given the scenario that we can play out in our head but, quite often, adjustments have to be made. The key is seeing those adjustments through the right lens.

Opportunity is often spelled C-H-A-N-G-E.

With that said, poor planning is no excuse for a failed plan. If you don’t know what you want, know how you are going to get it, have the resources in place and make consistent effort toward achieving something … don’t call it a plan. In that case you have a wish or a dream. Wishes and dreams aren’t bad but until they motivate a person to action their benefit is limited.

I heard the phrase constantly repeated to my by my dad as I was growing up, “Plan your work and work your plan.” I’ve been guilty of making it more complicated than necessary, but have found success in the basic essential it commands.

I remember being 18 years old and hearing an older couple talk about the adventures they used to have when they were young. The stories they told about things they did in their 20’s were full of risk, inspiration and dedication to incredible causes. The strange part was that this couple had clearly left that life behind. Looking around their home and all my previous interaction with them showed no evidence of the vision-filled adventurers of their youth. It was in this moment I decided I would never let my life grow dull.

A decade later I wonder if my analysis on this couple would be different. I see how life can slow down with family and financial obligations. I have experienced the disappointment of idealistic dreams and have grown weary in moments at the pace often required to create momentum for change.

Still, I am forced to consider the price I would pay to let go of optimistic expectation and bold risks for the opportunity to advance. After spending years learning, sacrificing, and shaping my heart and mind for the cause of shaping culture am I going to instead relegate myself to a world of maintaining my personal comfort? Had I decided to only do things that were easy or had low potential to fail I would not be half the person I am today… I wouldn’t know half the people, be able to tell half the stories, know half the things I am good at or understand half of the world in the way I do now.

My resolve: I can’t stop now. Risk may look different and the pursuit may take different forms but playing it safe is not an option. It is easy to say that I am a person who handles change well, but to have that solely based on decisions made years ago. The test of one’s character depends on current reality and response to opportunities given. I made a decision as an 18 year old that has to be re-made every year and in every new circumstance.

I’ve never regretted this choice, for in it I have truly lived.

I recently visited friends who own horses and was asked if I’d like to ride. Loving adventure as I do and being generally confident that I can figure things out as I go along I gave an immediate, “yes” and hopped on the saddle. What I didn’t know was that this horse was trained in an English style vs. the Western style I was more accustom to. I’ll spare you the details and just let you know that I figured out how to tell the horse how to go before I learned how to tell it how to stop. Plus, when another horse in the ring got feisty and decided to buck the trainer my horse was disturbed and the result was much more of a ride than I bargained for. I came away with horse owners and trainers marveling that I was able to stay on and the accolades were compounded when they discovered I hadn’t been on a horse in more years than I have fingers. I also came away sore.

Here are a few take-aways to make my pain worth it.

- Your readiness for adventure should be accompanied by knowledge of what you are getting yourself into. Starting with a few key questions of people who know can save you from easily avoidable risk.

- Be prepared for unexpected, uncontrollable circumstances that you will have to respond to.

- Hold on. You could be a little sore in the end but if you survive you’ll have a great story to tell.

You want employees who will put your priorities first, who will see your vision and look for ways to help you accomplish that. You want people who value productivity, but not at the expense of excellence. You want to hear ideas on solutions, not just complaints. You want employees are willing to set ego aside to get the job done but are competitive enough to achieve greatness. You want to compensate hard work done in smart ways.

If that is what you truly want you must be intentional about building those characteristics into the culture of your organization. As a leader, here are a few things you can do and train other leaders to do:

·         Celebrate what you want to see.

·         Catch people doing things right. And, when they do, verbally affirm these positive behaviors both in public and private.

·         Communicate openly about your personal challenges and strategies to practicing the basics.

·         Confront character issues regardless of the positive or negative outcome.

·         Ask for and receive feedback from team members on every level.

·         Develop real relationships with a handful of team members on every level. Eat together occasionally.

·         Never settle for anything less than win/win with employees and clients.

·         Be willing to change your opinion.

·         Value rest, laughter and celebration as more than a “necessary evil”.

·         Encourage friendship among employees. (jealousy, gossip, cliques and stunted communication costs you more money annually than you would think)

·         Find your organization and individual’s strengths and focus of that 80% of the time. If you must spend more than 20% of the time focusing on correcting weaknesses you need to make a change.

Feel free to get in touch to brainstorm specific team development solutions for your organization.

God, I thank you that I’m not who I was. The memories I have of darkness, and lies and hopelessness are part of my past, but not my future. There has been a line drawn. I’ve reached a place of no return. I can never again say that I am not loved, forgiven, wanted and fought for. My identity has been marked with a love that is so pure it squelched forever the darkness of my stains. I am new on the inside. I shine with a hope that goes beyond a bright smile and winsome personality. The spirit in me is alive. It seeks love and truth. It celebrates freedom and creates wholeness. Father, what you have offered to me you offer to all. Let my life be to others a demonstration of what is possible when the frailty of human strength meets the power of an almighty God.  

Jesus made a promise in Matt 11:28-29 that the Christian church overall doesn’t seem to have taken hold of. “Rest” is not a word I would use to describe many of the ministries I know but as you look at the lives of people who have walked with Jesus closely for quite some time it is a beautiful distinguishing quality. The promise is, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I was on a cruise earlier this year and after four days on the boat I heard a fellow passenger remark that she was finally figuring out where to go and how to get around efficiently on the ship. It struck me that even though Jesus offers us His way, which is ultimately quite simple and much easier, it is difficult to get use to. We have to learn from Him how to live a life in the flow of the Spirit.

He claims to be approachable and patient as a teacher - especially knowing that our hearts are worn out; battered by the world system that relates without love and makes promises it can’t keep and claims to be something it’s not. Disappointment, rejection and confusion leave us convinced that we are left to find our own way - navigating waters too deep for us to comprehend. The knowledge of this weighs heavily on us. A desire to not only survive, but to thrive, aches in our souls releasing a consistent echo that there must be more.

Is it any wonder that we approach this offering of Jesus with great apprehension and inability to immediately receive all that He gives in exchange for what He requires? To trust, by this point in human history after facing years of brainwashing from the patterns of sin, is a slow process.

I assume that is much of the reason that Jesus instructs us to come to him like little children. Children possess an innocence and softness that makes it easier to receive and learn. Trust allows us embrace new things with joy because of the absence of fear.

The mindset of fear casts a negative expectation on Jesus. It accuses Him of wrongdoing prior to experiencing Him. Revelation of His true heart and intimate encounters with Him only come to those who desire such interactions with Him and approach Him with a willingness to trust in His reality and goodness. Jesus reserves the right to hold back the fulness of who He is with us just as we do with one another. It doesn’t make him any less good - on the contrary, it reinforces the value of who Jesus is and what He offers to us.

Jesus, as the gateway of knowledge of the Father, protects the special relationship that they share by giving access to it only to those who desire it. The greater the desire to embrace His true heart and kingdom reality will understand Him with greater levels of clarity and ease.

The result of knowing Him is always a greater sense of rest for the human soul.

If the first and greatest commandment is to LOVE the Lord with all our identity, efforts and passions … then if at the end of the day not everything got done but we loved well, I think we won!

One time Jesus went to a party hosted by sisters named Mary and Martha. When Mary kept finding excuses to be where Jesus was and not helping Martha, Jesus showed no sympathy for Martha’s stress and anxiety. He basically told Martha she was focused on things less significant than love. He was not going to fight for her right to win the fight with her sister because winning that argument would only mean in the end. 

If you are anything like me, your task list is pages long and since so much of it is “for Jesus”  - doing ministry, working with excellence, caring for my family, attending to my physical health, being a good friend - it seems like Jesus might not only justify my anxiety but send someone to help join me in the midst of my chaos and help me out. But instead he, in his goodness, simply challenges me to shift my focus from accomplishing by goal of being the “perfect _________” (whatever I have in mind at the time) and making love the big deal.

We make memories every day. Some of my closest friends today got to that level of friendship because of the memories we made together. We have lots of “shared experiences” that bond us. When I think about specific experiences I’ve had with friends I wonder how different that moment would have been without their presence. For some memories I don’t know if I would have made it through without the friends I was with. Other times I know I wouldn’t have had nearly as much fun as we did had we not been together. Many other moments simply wouldn’t have existed because I never would have had the idea to start with.

When Jesus told His disciples, “I will be with you to the very end of the age” and we read that God “will never leave us or forsake us” and when God calls Himself, “Emmanuel”, meaning, “God with us”, I think He is trying to tell us something. Have you considered that the God who made you wants to make memories with you? He wants you to look back at different moments of your life - both high and low - and be so thankful that you shared the experience with Him.

There are memories I think of now that, at the time, I wasn’t aware He was with me. Now I look back and see the different ways that He carried me or opened a door of opportunity for me … I see His involvement and it brings healing to a memory or creates a new thankfulness in my heart for Him.

The challenge I give to you, and to myself, today is - “How are you making memories with Him right now?” Both the joys and sorrows of life can and should be shared with Him so that when you look back and see how you came through or celebrate the win or process the sorrow you will have a little snapshot in your heart of how He was there in that moment. It can be a little like remembering to get out your camera and photograph the moment. Realize He is with you and acknowledge that you are not alone. The picture is ALWAYS better when Jesus is in it!

I just ran across the following journal entry from January of 2007. A lot has changed since then but the theme of these words rings in my heart with just as much passion as the day I wrote them.

I currently have the statement hung in my room, “HAVE FAITH” with the attached quote, “I am not afraid … I WAS BORN TO DO THIS” from Joan of Arc. I find it both inspiring, and timely. I love the quote from the book of Esther where Esther was being asked to take a huge step of faith. Mordecai challenged her by pointing out something that may not have previously occurred to her. He declared that she had been strategically positioned, “for such a time as this.” I think we all need to live with that perspective. The fact that I am here is proof that God wants to glorify Himself in Detroit. Do you believe that for your city, your workplace, your family, etc? Eph. 2:10 declares, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” We cannot afford to view our lives as a series of happenstance occurrences. Our identity declares our value, our value determines our position and our position dictates our purpose. My expectation is increasing in response to my growing faith that impossible is possible. God can overturn cities and He can use ordinary people like me. I was born to do this.

I’m a big advocate of doing something adventurous to celebrate your birthday. Since God gave you life you should probably make the most of it as a way of saying “thank you”. Right!?! This year I decided to fulfill my lifelong desire to go skydiving. Thanks to Jorge at Skydive Carolina you can share the experience … and then I encourage you to create your own adventure!!

Have you ever run across something you wrote or designed (etc) that you are completely amused or inspired by, but not remembering it was you who did it?

While I’m definitely not an advocate of becoming a pack-rat, I encourage you to make a space for storing memories. You can learn a lot in 10 years from the person you are today. Sometimes those memories will show you how far you’ve come in building your skills, and sometimes those memories will remind you of the values and passions that make you who you are. Either way, the perspective it brings is invaluable.

Speaking of decades past … Your last name would have to be Hamlin to fully appreciate the attached letter I wrote to my older sister while she was away in college. I think my favorite line was, “I have had some lazy days with occasional sperts of productivity. All this rest is draining.” At this point in life I’d be willing to try that again : )

If your idea is important enough to share with someone other than your dog, watch this video. Your dog will listen because you feed it. I’ve given you some ways to “throw a bone” to your audience that will get their attention.

This presentation was done at Ignite Charlotte and had to be exactly 5 minutes. Contact me for the 90 minutes of content I had to cut out if you want to hear more : )

Here’s a little sneak preview to one of the points I’m making in my “Vision Casting” presentation at Ignite Charlotte. People don’t resist change, they resist being changed. You’ll get people to buy in at a higher level if you let them in on the brainstorming process and lead people to come to conclusions on their own.

Years ago someone suggested this journaling activity which I have outlined below. The approach may seem odd as an initial reaction but the result for me was very beneficial. From it I was able to identify some key areas that are important to me to feel successful in life. From there I could establish goals based on what truly motivates me instead of what others expect of me.

Activity: Visualize yourself at your own funeral filled with friends, loved ones, and associates from all walks of life who have gathered to honor you. Focus in on four specific types of persons - a family member, a co-worker, a close friend, and a church/civic group member.

 What would you want these four people to say?  What qualities of character would you want to be remembered for?  What outstanding contributions would they mention?  Look around at the people there.  What important difference have you made in their lives?

 Take some time and write out this scene.  Include the speech of the four types of people mentioned.  Be honest, search your heart.  This is your opportunity to put words into other people’s mouths.  Write out what you’d like them to say.

I just caught myself smiling for no good reason.

It was the kind of smile you get when you’re in love, or eating really good food, or thinking about a compliment that really hit home.

I spent some time this morning dancing around my living room, thanking God, praying for my business and the people I love. In the midst of it the weariness from too much work and too little sleep faded in the presence of an overwhelming sense of God’s love for me. That is something to smile about.

·         Some of the toughest moments in my life were caused by people who I really care about. Fortunately, I have great family and friends who don’t intentionally try to hurt me. But even their best intentions don’t protect me from experiencing the inevitable rejection and pain that comes from living in close relationships with people who think and perceive life differently than I do.

     I’ll never forget talking years ago to a mom who had 5 kids. She was mentioned that her commitment to being a forgiving person allows her to keep a good attitude when her kids do kid stuff - the unpleasant stuff like making messes, fighting, etc. She described those things as an “offense” which needed to be forgiven. At first this sounded to me like an over-sensitivity on her part. After all, kids do those things all the time … which was exactly her point. If she pre-meditated forgiveness, she would be prepared to not take it personally or react in anger when her kids or husband said and did things which were insensitive or caused her additional stress. After a while of being intentional about choosing to forgive instead of stuffing her emotions she experienced the positive results of this new pattern.

     Jesus is also a great example of how to handle life situations - only his was on a much more extreme level. It doesn’t get more extreme than betrayal and murder. The thing is, he knew what was coming. Scripture records that he predicted Judas’ betrayal and still served him and washed his feet at the last supper. The next day he hung on a cross asking His father to forgive the people who were torturing him in the midst of their violence. That kind of forgiveness only comes from a lifetime of practicing forgiveness.

     I usually like to see people show some remorse for how they’ve hurt me before I really let it go - and even then it is difficult in certain circumstances. Jesus reminds me that it is possible to choose a different attitude. I can choose to live in bondage to my offense but if I’m really thankful for how God forgave me I’ll have better odds of doing the same for others.

The world is full of bad ideas. I’m just glad there’s proof they’re not all mine.

Here are a few tips if you are looking to minimize the impact of stress in your life …

1.       Tell someone you trust the things you say to yourself, “I can never tell anyone this”

2.       Begin with the end in mind – Ask yourself, “What am I really trying to accomplish?”

3.       Then … do only the things that relate to your goals

4.       Learn something from everyone you spend more than three minutes with

5.       Go to your happy place - “Where are you inspired?”

6.       Stop making excuses

7.       Celebrate your accomplishments. The more important something is the more it should be celebrated

8.       Avoid people who bring you down

9.       Stop thinking about yourself so much. Go out of your way to encourage someone else in the midst of your stress

10.   Don’t rehearse your list of what’s going wrong in life. Someone has it worse than you and is still a happy person

11.   Read Psalms – I’ve never met anyone who regularly did who was not encouraged

12.   Get off your butt - workout. Endorphins have a certain magical power over stress